No Trespassing... Physical sexual abuse
Physical Sexual Abuse or Sexual Violence is reported to affect 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men. It is believed that this is an under-reporting of the issue because may factors keep people from reporting when physical sexual abuse takes place. The experience of someone violating our personal space and physical safety and control can be unsettling, to say the least. Examples of physical sexual abuse include: touching, fondling, physical restraint, cornering, tickling, kissing, excessive cleaning of genitals, enemas, intercourse, sodomy, oral sex, licking, brushing up against, urinating on, invasion of privacy, stalking. One of the symptoms of traumatic events like those listed above is an outsized sense of guilt or responsibility for the actions of the perpetrator. In an effort to establish some sense of control for themselves, to reconcile these violations, victims often blame themselves. This is a normal part of the aftermath of trauma, but it is never the truth. There is no circumstance where sexual violation of your body is justified by your actions. While it may seem easier to carry the burden of such an event, especially when your life, livelihood, or family are threatened, there is hope for safety and recovery in your life.
For some, personal experience or individual characteristics shield them from experiencing Post Traumatic Stress symptoms after some events. Enduring sexual abuse doesn't mean that you are traumatized forever, and your life is going to be awful. The good news is that one of the biggest determinants of trauma resilience is if the person had a high level of perceived support following a violation.
Lack of support has the opposite effect. Not believing or refusing to acknowledge appropriately sexual abuse makes the experience more damaging. Family and friends who deny reports of abuse or shame those hurt become co-perpetrators in the experience of the person who is violated. Some clients come seeking treatment for issues more related to the lack of support following abuse, than the abuse itself.
If you have experienced something like this, the nice thing is that we know that our brains are plastic. We have neuro-plasticity. What that means is we don't have to be stuck with trauma symptoms for the rest of our life. With advanced techniques like Accelerated Resolution Therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing that help to heal from those events, you can live a life directed by freedom again. These new techniques limit your exposure to your memory of the past even and make therapy more palatable. A trauma trained therapist can help to process that without a high level of re-traumatization, sometimes, without having to retell the story until it no longer triggers intense emotions. We even had people leave sessions and say, “Wait, was that it? How come I didn't cry? Why does this feel better?”
FAQ’s
Q: Does sexual abuse have to involve physical contact?
A: No, sexual abuse can happen without being touched or even being in the same space as the abuser. Sexual abuses can include words spoken, sights seen, and acts done covertly, all without physical contact.
Q: What is Trauma?
A: Trauma can be defined as an emotional response to an experience that is distressing or disturbing. With sexual trauma, this often includes experiencing a “No choice, No voice” event. Experiencing something where there's a loss of control, coercion or pressure, perceived helplessness.
Q: Can I heal from this?
A: Yes!! If you have experienced something like this, you do not have to be stuck with trauma for the rest of your life. With advanced techniques like Accelerated Resolution Therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, that help to heal the impact of those events, recovery is within reach. These new techniques limit your exposure to your memory of the past event in session and expedite the healing process. A therapist with these advanced techniques can help you to process trauma without a high level of distress in recalling the memories. Sometimes we can work with clients without them needing to retell the story until it no longer triggers intense emotions.
Hear more about this topic on our podcast The Reimagined Life: Episode 5: 5 Types of Sexual Abuse You May Not Be Aware Of (ft. Cristina Ally).